Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Two down One to go on the Bib.

I really hate annotated bibliographies... did I spell that right? anyway.... they're extra gay, and I really wish I would have started mine earlier. Seems like the nearing of summer has caused me to start procrastinating... I just don't understand why we have to write this long drawn out bibliography... who honestly CARES!!! Can't I just get my damn ten paged paper out of the way?

whatever. lame. I'm done for now... I'll finish after science lab (I hope!)

in addition to all that stuff though... I have a take home test due on friday (shouldn't be TOOOO bad), a test in American Civ... which I'm getting a little afraid of... I Aced the first one, but I haven't been as on top of things as usual, who KNOWS whats going on with humanities... not me! I am so far behind in that class its sick, another critical analysis for psych is coming up... I am especially not excited to write that, luckily he gives us two weeks...
I guess when I write it out it doesn't sound too bad... but I also have a crap ton of reading to do for all of those and not a whole lot of time to do it, yuck.


its times like these where I REALLY wish I could consume an unhealthy amount of caffeine to help me out... sometimes it seems unfair that I have to lull around in my natural mindset when everyone else is hopping around with coffees and energy drinks... panic disorder GO AWAY.

but while we're on the subject of that, mr. panic attack hasn't come to bite me in the ass as much as usual. He seems to have limited himself to mainly movie theaters, or hangovers... maybe the occassional marijuana usage... and I stress OCCASSIONAL (as meaning VERY few and far between). But for some reason he came back to get me this semester with a vengance after having been gone for almost 5 months...
It never fails to bother me even more that I'm a PSYCH major and I still can't keep it under control, even though I know its all in my head. I have a better grasp on it now but when they hit, they hit HARD... and nobody ever really seems to understand the terror I feel when they come. Its hard to think in a psychological way when You feel like your heart has stopped, you're whole body's cold, you're chest is aching, your ears are ringing, and your throught feels almost completely cut off of all air inhalation at all...
I just hope it goes away sometime soon... I want to SCREAM every time it comes. I hate myself for it.

anyway... after that fun little blog-er-ino. I have to head out to science lab... great.


ta ta.

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