drained.

I never knew how much I loved ryan until I spent three days at a hospital with no sleep holding his hand... my parents finally drove to Iowa City to pick me up because I was so exhausted. the first night out of surgery I left him and cried all night without a wink of sleep because he was there all alone with a tube down his throat... it broke my heart to see him like that.
luckily he's doing better than expected (just like i told everyone he would) doctors said he would probably be there until next wednesday, but now its looking more like early on saturday =] thats my boy! ... I hope thats the case anyway because I am driving back tomorrow to stay with him in his room overnight.
the thing that sucks the most is the fact that he wont be able to drink... but knowing him he PROBABLY will anyway. It will be hard to keep him away from it with his friends AND his family... that worries me.
ON a brighter note i got my grades back today, mine were good... with my frosh year ending with a cumulative 3.3 GPA =] Ryan at least didn't fail and finished with a 2.12 GPA, but I've got to give him props for going back after five years and dealing with the knowledge that as soon as he's done with his first year he has to have major heart surgery...

All n All... thats about the update for now, not much has happened besides the fact that I've moved back from school (which sucked balls by the way... who knew I had SO much junk??) and also I changed my hair (again, hee) to something crazy... just like me =] but i'm a fan of it!

I should probably sleep though... i'm really at the point now where i'm just in a foggy delerium and too tired to even sleep... ever felt that way? I'm not a fan!!! Hopefully I get some tonight, but I just can't stop thinking about ryan's poor face all alone in that room... I hope his dad stays with him until he falls asleep tonight... granted he GETS any sleep tonight.

until next time!